Have you ever felt like life just keeps throwing you curveballs, and you're on the brink of striking out? Let us walk you through how we hit a home run even amidst the storms of job loss, financial instability, and personal disappointments. In this heartfelt and uplifting episode, we open up about our own experiences of resilience, leaning into faith, and finding healthy distractions to keep us smiling through the tough seasons.
We dive deep into how we've honed our coping mechanisms and embraced the power of acceptance. From using music and prayer to sports, photography, and video editing, we share our unique ways of easing the pain and bouncing back stronger. We reflect on the power of human connections, the bond between a mother and her child, and the profound impact of loss and healing. Understand how faith can be a rock-solid anchor during stormy seasons. Finally, we delve into the world of business and job loss, offering valuable tips on staying positive and resilient during these uncertain times. This episode is a testament to our belief that every pain, every loss, and every relationship has a lesson to teach, and there is something to learn in every season of life. So join us, as we embrace these curveballs and turn them into home runs.
Have you ever felt like life just keeps throwing you curveballs, and you're on the brink of striking out? Let us walk you through how we hit a home run even amidst the storms of job loss, financial instability, and personal disappointments. In this heartfelt and uplifting episode, we open up about our own experiences of resilience, leaning into faith, and finding healthy distractions to keep us smiling through the tough seasons.
We dive deep into how we've honed our coping mechanisms and embraced the power of acceptance. From using music and prayer to sports, photography, and video editing, we share our unique ways of easing the pain and bouncing back stronger. We reflect on the power of human connections, the bond between a mother and her child, and the profound impact of loss and healing. Understand how faith can be a rock-solid anchor during stormy seasons. Finally, we delve into the world of business and job loss, offering valuable tips on staying positive and resilient during these uncertain times. This episode is a testament to our belief that every pain, every loss, and every relationship has a lesson to teach, and there is something to learn in every season of life. So join us, as we embrace these curveballs and turn them into home runs.
Hi guys.
Speaker 2:Hi guys, how are you doing?
Speaker 1:How was your week?
Speaker 2:Well, my week has been fruitful, eventful, and it's not bad. It's okay, okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you know, today I wanted us to just have a chat. You know, we all go through different things in life. There are so many curveballs that have been thrown at us in our lives, you know. So we I can talk about things like losing a parent, losing a job, being financially unstable, things I've got to do with family, not being able to see your kids as much as you want, going through a divorce. There's so much curveballs in life. My question to you today is how do you overcome those curveballs in life? How do you get up again, you know, after you've fallen, or should I say how do you get up from a fall?
Speaker 2:Bad situation right? Yeah, yes, you know, I have. You already know my story, isn't it? You know I've been through a lot in the last. I would say seven to eight years, more than that. I would say yeah, maybe seven to eight years. And people ask me question how am I still able to stand or smile and go about my day? You know, like everybody think people look at me and they say, oh, the people close to me when they, you know, only a few people knows about the whole situation right and when they hear that story and they'll be like are you serious?
Speaker 2:and you, it doesn't really show it. Blah, blah, blah. And I know that we all have a different way. I think what is very important is you are only yourself, like there's no two of yourself, right? So the way we all grieve, the way we all deal with difficult situation and our tolerance level is different. That's true. So I think, like people say, sometimes you have to play to your strengths. You know, what I do basically is in in my toughest situation, toughest times, you know I obviously one of my go-to is I like music, but apart from that, I pray, and you know, sometimes I just pray, like in tongues, and you know another because that one, necessarily, you don't have to be like confined or in the place of praying, so I can just be sitting here, just you know, praying in tongues and doing all that because I also don't want people around me to be aware, isn't it? Yeah, I just want to, but inside of me, I'm hurting.
Speaker 1:I think that's. I think that's. What's really important is just understanding that when you're going through something, you have to accept that situation. Not accepting it will kind of delay your recovery.
Speaker 2:Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1:Yes so acceptance.
Speaker 2:You said yes, and what would you say is another thing that you know helps you to bounce back in difficult times.
Speaker 1:I mean I have been through hell. I mean I've been through hell and back and I still feel like, as we are recording this, I'm still dealing with certain things in my life because obviously it's best on this you know choices that I have made as an individual. But what I have realized is that I cannot I cannot specifically change why I'm going through particular situations, accepting that situation number one is important, but also just understanding that you know you get to a time in your life where I feel like I've grown like the old 34's. Yes, yes, I agree would just cry whenever something goes wrong. But yes, now I've.
Speaker 1:I just run to like my prayer corner, like I have a space in my room where I don't know if that particular place in my room could speak. Yeah, it could say a lot, but it's just holding on to God and just knowing that the thing is everything that you go through. There's somebody that has experienced it in the Bible, right, yes, and for me, my faith is what I hold on to. I don't hold on to the faith of man, because men just channel people would disappoint you, but then we fail exactly. But God never fails. So that's, that's something I have learnt over the years, not, and I'm not saying I'm there yet, because even when I'm going through stuff, sometimes my first reaction is to like God, why me? But I've always got this voice back after, like, prayed and, you know, had my prayers and worship.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you see me around the house. I'm not even able to pray, but just having the music around me, having the word of God just to not reaffirm but reassure me that this is a season and also another thing to also break, say, is that you have to sit in that season. Yes, it might be a short season, it might be a long season, but you have to accept, be content that this is a season where I am in my life and I will come out of it. The only issue here is some don't come out of it. That's where you find yourself, like being, you know there's like depression, things like that you know. But, yes, having you know nobody is ever going to know God for you than you know in God for yourself that's right, that's.
Speaker 1:I don't know, like obviously I don't. I'm not saying that people that don't believe in God, but I just don't know where I would be without God.
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I know you're coming from one of the things I do when I'm in those bad situations and trying to bag us back. As you see, and I like to sport a lot like photography and pedagraphy and I tend to sometimes I would just pick up a photo, start editing what I'm going somewhere, or I would just watch my matches that I want to watch, and I know you know that I watch any match available. Yeah, sometimes I can watch.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I mean I watch games with you, but there's some games I can't stomach, right?
Speaker 2:Yes, I would just watch anything that comes on. I'm just, you know, generally passionate about football as it is, and I, like you know and sport in general as well, and so these are the things that I do. But also I can be on the computer just editing photos or they, or I'm looking for just to do if I know a shoot is coming up before the shoot, I'm looking forward to it, I'm happy, I want to do it, I want to do it and I do it with all my might or my spirit, I just think just. Also I use it to kind of take away those time. So what I'm saying invariably is, when you are in that situation, right, practice positive thinking. Yes, do things that makes you happy.
Speaker 1:Right. Do things that, you know, takes your mind off.
Speaker 2:That takes your mind off those situations. The situation is there. You cannot. You know, sometimes you cannot move those situations and most times they are even out of your control. You know you can't control things, but if you put your mind on positive things, I feel like good things can even come out of that situation. When we do that, you know. So that's another thing we can do, you know.
Speaker 2:Another thing I noticed is you know this is a time that a lot of businesses are closing down. You know we just heard of Wilco. You know 12,000 people losing their job and there are other companies that have. You know they've had to lay off people in the last few months and here and from the forecast that we see, there's more to come and it's all due to AI. You know digital transformation and all these things, and I saw, I know a lot of people are in this situation right now. You know they are in this kind of season whereby people don't even know what to do anymore and stuff like that. How do you encourage someone who just lost their job or they are facing a real uncertainty about their job or their business? How do you encourage such people?
Speaker 1:So I'm going to say something and people will be like, yeah, wow, yeah, it sounds cliche, but you've got to practice gratitude Like I don't know where, in situations where I felt like you know me, like sometimes I apply for a job and that's why I think my biggest fear, one of my biggest fear in my life, is rejection. Right, I don't deal with rejection well so. Okay, so losing a job is not being rejected, but it's like losing something that you love, that you enjoy doing. So people that have made you know that have been made redundant. I think, even in that season, you, you have to do the positive things, like you have an outlet, right? Yeah, do apply for jobs. Spend time working on your CV, get somebody to have a look at your CV, speak to people that you know are in the industry that might know somebody that is hiring you know. Just have the right circle around you.
Speaker 1:But always practice like gratitude, like I don't know, like this week I was going through something like really, really, really, really like heavy, and they like, usually, when it's that heavy on me, I can't promise I can't pray, right, right, and instead of me like praying, like I said to myself, I'm going to remove that. I'm going to do the reverse of like the crying and not praying in the season because I'm hurting. So I started saying things like God, I thank you. And before you know it, the mama said God, thank you for my life, thank you for my family, god, thank you for where I am in my life. Before I finished, like the fourth or fifth like gratitude to God, like prayers just started coming into my head and it's just like from if you come from a space like a place of gratitude, there's so much you will see beyond the season that you're in. So I feel like it's. I know it's hard, because I'm also like trying to change my career and you know I've been back and forth with a trying to find a way to walk around like having a new career, having kids and just the whole mix is a lot. But what I have decided to do is not allow the season that I'm in Like being is because it's it's being unsure.
Speaker 1:And regarding people that actually, who are scared of losing their jobs, is the unsanity, right, like mm. Hmm, what is going to happen next, right? Yes, yes, do I still have a job? Is I going to take my job? The people in those, in those like in their heads right now regarding this situation. But the only thing I can always tell people is that focus on what you can control and leave the rest to God. Yeah, because you, what you cannot control, no matter how much you spend time on thinking about the way it's out of it, it's out of your control. People losing their job is out of their control. Nobody wakes up in the morning and is like, yeah, today I'm going to lose my job, of course. No, that's something. Those are things that are uncertain, that will happen to different people in different industries, because life is changing. I would advise people right now to upscale Right. Get yourself into a skill that you can make money that you don't have to be under someone. Do you understand what?
Speaker 2:I'm coming for yes yes, Photography.
Speaker 1:Ok, it's not booming booming, but you can still get jobs here and there.
Speaker 2:Learn a skill.
Speaker 1:Yes, just learn a skill that does not require you to be under someone.
Speaker 2:Something you can do for yourself.
Speaker 2:You know, and I was also thinking that when people are in this situation, especially when you lose it, just go. You know I've been there. Yeah, you know I've been there. So I'm not just talking and you know I have lost my job as a point, you know. And so, whether it's listening to me right now, we are not just saying this because, oh, you know, everything in our lives is perfect. You know it's because these are the things that we have been through. So, if you are going through it, you know, we know, I know how you feel.
Speaker 2:I think what people also need to do in their situation, especially when you have what is a uncertainty, is to be humble and and and just think about, you know, providing for your family, think about doing something. Yeah, you know, it doesn't have to be something I even like doing sometimes. Sometimes in life you have to take one. They say they have to take one step back so I can take men step forward. Right, you know it might look like you're downgrading. You know you might have to go back to certain things, like maybe a walk that used to do before, that probably was below or beneath you, but just for the time being, because I feel like the more you sit at home and not doing anything.
Speaker 2:Because most jobs now online takes we know it takes time. I've really takes between four to eight weeks for them to complete the whole process, the process exactly. So in some cases four weeks, right, but sometimes it could be even longer, right, because also they will tell you when you have this online interviews now they will say oh, they also interview other people, can you give us time? They'll reach out to you back and all that. So there's always back and forth. So imagine, after waiting like two months for an interview and it doesn't go through.
Speaker 1:Or you actually do the interview and they just say they've taken on someone else, yes, which is what happens sometimes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what happens. And then that is two months gone. There may be another two months. You know, here and there, before you know it, you hear it's gone, yeah, and you're probably not doing anything. You know and what you said earlier on I met someone recently I know I told you why in walking and she said to me that she lost her job recently.
Speaker 2:And you know she was, you know she was getting paid a lot of money before she lost her job, also the contract, and so when she first lost her job she was not really bothered, she was just spending those money. But after like four months, five months, she was realized oh my God, all this money that I thought I had, they're all gone, Like almost gone, so quickly she's hired, trying to obscure. Going back to what you said Now, the first step she did was she looked for a cause, like a government cause, on upscaling into more tech roles, and then she got a placement for that, yeah, and that is how she was not getting paid. But she realized, look, I see I have a little bit of money left. Let me use this money to obscure myself. She's not even spending that money.
Speaker 2:The government is paying for you, but at least that money still helps her in that for that time being, that she doesn't have to worry, and then eventually she was able to get a job All right, and that saves her in getting into another role. So I think humility, and also maybe you just need to take a step back. Don't be too taking up with this in this charade of, oh I know, maybe I'm a, let's see, for instance, I'm a chattel accountant, I'm a diss, I'm a da. I can't do that kind of a job or I can't do that, you know. So you might just need to take up something for the time being so that you can go to the next level.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think I'm also seeking support. So you know you can try and do all the self-care and you know practice positive thinking, being mindful and all the rest. But I also think, like some situations can be above someone. So you can either like seek help from, like, family, friends some friend that's really close to you.
Speaker 1:You can even go to the professionals. There is nothing wrong with talking things out with a professional Seeking help. Yes, because they may have a better like idea and even have better advice and knowledge in that environment, how you know in that area where you are in your life or in that season, and they'll just help you navigate through that season without losing yourself, without beating yourself up, without you getting down to depression or isolating yourself from the world. You know a lot of things happen to us and you know people don't realize once you close the door, you close the door to the whole world, right? So having like asking for help, even if it's like a friend, that's you opening a door into your life and allowing people to be part of that journey of your life. So you know you can't do life on your own. Yes, it's not possible at all. So you know it's really tough. I know people are going through it, but I feel like God does not put you somewhere or through something that he doesn't believe you can get through. Yes, yes, because then it's like he loves you too much to cause you too much pain. But without those tests in your life, where is the testimony going to come from. You need to sit in that season, accept that this is the season you're in Exactly. You need to help. If you need help, focus, practice self-positive thinking Like.
Speaker 1:You spoke about outlets, so an outlet is like deciding, and I've noticed that about you. You don't even have to tell me, like sometimes you can. You have something on your mind. You will sit on that computer and edit and that kind of like. It not only takes your mind of things, but it allows you to critically think of something totally different than the situation you're in. So it kind of it's a distraction. It's a good distraction, cause it's not allowing you to sit in your mind too much and just overthink things. You're going to do something that you enjoy doing. Get outside, take a walk, meet up with someone, have a cup of coffee with someone outside your environment. Don't allow yourself to be cooked up in the house. I feel like there's a lot of things you can even just do that will just help you. Go for a walk. You don't have to do that with anyone Like.
Speaker 1:I personally feel like once you put music in your ears or listen to a book and go, and by the time you come back, the situation is not going to be resolved or it's not. It doesn't mean it's not going to be there, but it's just allows you to just do something. That just allows you to be yourself and doesn't put you in that negative space that you were in before. You decided to obviously take that walk or go for a coffee, or meet up with a friend, or sit down and work on your CV. What else do you think Like? What else can people?
Speaker 1:How do people bounce back? I know there's this thing. I feel like you're the description of you. Don't look like what you've been through. I feel like you're that type of person because when you told me your story, I was like like my mouth just dropped, because I'm like how and where and how have you been able? Because it was never. If I did not ask, I would never, ever know that you've been through so much. Do you understand what I mean? So there's some people like that, but I think everybody should be able to look like, like to be able to not look like what they've been through, you know, because then that just shows that you're not only being resilient, but you're able to move forward in the best way possible.
Speaker 2:So what I wanted to say was just to touch base on what is the benefit of when I said I was editing and taking my time off. You know what happened? Cause, when I started out as a photographer, I just want to take pictures. I don't like to edit, isn't it? Yeah, so, and I don't like to sit in front of the computer and at the early stages, however, that method of using that as a weapon when I'm in time off, tough time editing I just decided I'm getting good, I'm getting better, I'm getting better because I keep practicing, and that gave me confidence. And then I started getting jobs. I started getting jobs in terms of, you know, paid jobs and everything, and my confidence grew. Though it was a situation, it was a mess, I was using that mess turning into something else, a positive energy, something to profit from, do you understand? So I think it might be some tough time that you don't want to do anything and it's okay Sometimes you just need to sit quietly, you don't have to do anything.
Speaker 1:Sit quietly. You don't have to do anything. You can't just decide to lay in your bed or sit somewhere in your room and just keep quiet. Even silence, it does a lot. It really does a lot because it allows you and the thing is for you to be able to bounce back and be yourself, your happy self. You have to sit in it.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:You have to sit in that mess. You have to accept that, right. This is where I am. How do I get out of this place now? And if you don't, I feel like the more you put it off, you cover it up with different things or keeping yourself occupied or busy until you sit there. You sit in that place. You're not going to recover. Exactly you know.
Speaker 2:And you know, what I wanted to also ask is I know we are still on this issue of this topic of how do people deal with this situation and bounce back. How would you encourage someone that it's lost a lot of one? We know, we've read in the news this week of a family that lost their parents.
Speaker 1:They lost their church was in pastor and.
Speaker 2:But I know you've been through that and I've been through that space as well. So how do you agree about who has been true that someone like you really, because I know what that person you lost meant to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my mom so someone is very Good right, so yeah, it's so funny because when I was younger my religious grief yeah, but when I was younger my relationship with my mom wasn't that close because obviously I didn't really get the chance to grow up with my mom like that. So I left my mom, you know, at a very young age, stayed, lived with my dad and didn't really see my mom that much. And then I went back home, spent some time with my mom and then when I came back, then life happened. I went to uni and then she's no, as I got married, I had kids. So as I was doing life, I Think I became closer to my mom when I got married, actually because I was very young, I was 21 I I kept needing that reassurance that whatever I'm doing is right, and that reassurance came from my mom. So we were very, very close, which a lot even my own family members didn't realize how that transition happened because I wasn't that close to my mom before.
Speaker 1:But getting order, and I think when I became a mom I Appreciated my mom so, so much and I just kept saying, asking that all the time, like mom, like how did you do it? Like how did you do it? We, just me and you like how did you cope and things like that. So she was like my biggest support system and sometimes the things I was doing were not the best things, but with her I Was, I was perfect, like I was her perfect child. It just didn't matter what anybody else said, she would just be like no, I Know the girl I gave birth to and that's. I think that that's that God allowed me, gave me that chance to have that relationship with my mom.
Speaker 1:And obviously you know, you know I lost her just abruptly. You know, I was in uni I got phone call. Mom's passed away. I Almost went crazy. I mean, I didn't understand it because I had spoken to her the week before and I was meant to call her and I was like, okay, I'm good, you know how life gets, so I'm gonna call, I'm gonna call and and Grif did not hit me until the funeral was done. So I was Like in high drive. You know, like once the funeral, everything was happening. I was just in high drive. I was Preparing everything because I was a first-charger, just doing everything making sure she's put to rest. Fine, and I Don't. I think I cried when I was in Uganda, but when I came back and I had to come back to this house and that's when it hit me, I think a month after my mom died. That's when he really hit me that, okay, my mom's gone now and it was the worst. I mean, and nobody can get you out of that place.
Speaker 1:You know, because, however much people say, I know how it feels, yeah, no, they don't if you haven't, even when you go, because even people grieve differently, right, yes, they give different Some of my, somebody that's lost their mom at a very young age, very painful.
Speaker 1:Yes but when you now grow and see, like, grow up with your mom and get to spend time with your mom and you know you're, you're getting older and then your mom passes as well, I feel like I don't know if it's it's not even any different, but it's more painful, because then you are that place in your life where now I can be able to do this for my mom and I'm not able to. You know, it's a sad story, yeah, it's, it's horrible. It's horrible, but you know, when you lose someone, you have to accept that that person is gone, but you don't. Their. Their presence and all that they've done when they are live alive is what should keep the memories for you. And I Don't really talk about my mom's passing, I talk about the times I spent with my mom. So with that, it just Takes away that pain of not having her around. I always remind myself that when I did have the chance with my mom, she did the best she could do for me.
Speaker 1:Yes, so, yeah, just hold on to God because, again, it was God that pulled me out of that hole. Like the whole where I was was deep, you know, and even having kids that I, you know, I had to careful in that season did not matter because I was in pain and I it was. Just that it was like somebody had ripped something out of me and it was that that wound. I feel like losing a loved one is a wound that never heals, like there's always moments where you would revisit that moment that you lost them. So it's just hold on and hold on to God and just trust God that you know that everything happens for a reason.
Speaker 1:But that was her time. I was her time, although life was snatched out of her through like selfishness of another individual. But I'm grateful for the times I had with her and I just always try to remember the good stuff I talked to my kids about my mom. I I laugh about the things I used to do with my mom, the mischievous things I used to do and get away with, because I was her only child at that point. So I I was very spoiled, sport rotten, but loved in the best way possible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I could see cuz cuz we. You know, like you said, it is when people grieve differently. Yeah, it's good to see from your own perspective, because I feel, like. A lot of people need that kind of All. Go come for me at this point in time, losing someone you love doing, a family member or even friends, it's not. It's not the best it could, because those people really mean a lot to you, you know so things like that.
Speaker 2:So I mean it's been good. So I want one last one before we go. You know I talk about people, you know, who have lost what about people who are going through like issues in their Marriages and probably broken down things? How do you encourage such people like I'm just saying, you know, I obviously I will say my own words as well, as we're rounding up, and so what do you think?
Speaker 1:Relationships are not a walk in the park. Nobody should ever get into a relationship unexpected to be perfect. It's not perfect, it's never gonna be perfect. You are too. I Say we are two awkward individuals, right, and people say, no, you're not awkward. Yes, we are. We are two different people trying to make life together. So we have our own personal beliefs and what we like, what we don't like and Trying to blend. That, I think, is where the Compromising comes from. So you've got to have that skill to be able to compromise, to love, to be understanding and respectful as well, and You're not going to agree To everything the other party says.
Speaker 1:But that's right just being able to meet in the middle ground. I think that works, and For me I don't. We I mean we don't have arguments as things. We always talk things through like we always have to see each other's side in a situation, which obviously, you know, I'm not that type of person. I always I'm quite hot-headed. But I'm learning to understand that they always have to see another side, to your own side, like you. You know, you might, you might be right or you will, you might feel that you're right, but always give the other party a chance to Air out their views and tell you where, how, what, they are standing on, and on that I think you can try and make things work.
Speaker 1:Yeah for me, always putting God at the center of Of everything is the biggest, I think, decision that anybody can make. Be in your life, in your education, in your relationship, in your marriage, in anything that you do. If you put God at the top or at the center, it will, you know it works and just, I think, have grace for one another as well and realize that no one is perfect. Yes, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes. So if you're going through any issue right now probably a relationship or marriage or whatever you know just make sure you like to say God, you know, pray, but also try your best as possible to find middle ground. Like you said, try fix it. But if he's becoming too toxic, then probably you should see a professional like a counselor, counseling and all therapy, to say and if that is not working, I would say very toxic, they can she remove yourself? Yeah, no, life is very Important, so always keep that at the back of your mind. And that's our, that's our clothes for today. Hope you've enjoyed this to this chart as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean it was good, it's good it's. I Think it brings a range of emotions because we don't nobody really likes to talk about the hard times. I feel people always celebrate when things are good. But yeah, we always have to remember that you don't just nobody gets the top and they have not been through it. So embrace the curve balls in your lives, sitting them, accept them and then find a way to recover and come out of it.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yes, so okay, it's been great.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, until next time, guys Stay less.